Then There Was Me
I recently had to fill out a form and write down a list of my “talents”. Talk about my worst nightmare! I sat there, doodled on the paper like I was in 7th grade, pretended to fill it out, and stuck it in my bag during the break. Prayed to the good Lord that I would not have to read that paper out loud or share it around the table for Heaven’s sake. The speaker went on talking the whole seminar and all I could think about that entire time was how I couldn’t think of one thing to write on that stupid paper. This was a good seminar too, something I should have been listening to, but I was sooooo distracted by the fact that I was a big ole dud! Sure I was kinda ok at a bunch of stuff. Like have you ever heard of being a jack of all trades but a master of none?
So here goes my brain….. I’m good at being a mom and wife. I can cook my family a good meal. I like a clean house (my husband would probably argue that I’m quite skilled at cleaning simply because I was raised one of those Kentucky girls who thinks someone might always stop by) but I never feel like my house is clean or organized enough. I can sometimes bake a decent cake, I’m trying to learn to make homemade bread, I garden a little but I’m not as perfect as my Mom was at it. I can’t sing or play an instrument, even though I love music and sing in the car all the time. I like to work out, but that is not a talent. Hmmm, I was a pretty good teacher during my educational career but by the end, I was so exhausted and grief stricken that I wasn’t very good at all I felt. I am on my way to becoming a good Realtor these days because I like learning and I learn something new every day, I service the people I work for well. That’s being a hard worker, not a magically talented individual. Sometimes I feel like I am stumbling along in this big ole world of this new career of mine and I don't belong in the room. Can I write a post well? Yeah sometimes I think so, maybe (I am sure we will have some critics who may argue once we get rolling, oh gosh!) ---End brain dump.
But talent— to me talent is something that stands out— Striking. Something that you are known for. Talents are Gifts. God-given Gifts.
Example- my husband has the ability to set a crowd on fire. He opens his mouth and people turn to listen. He can coach anyone to do anything! He could sell ice to an Eskimo.
My sister can sing like a bird- like a bird that should have won The Voice last season. She’d never say that but I will. Like when she sings in church the Holy Spirit shakes the place up! That is a God-given talent!
Eye for photography - talent. Can calculate numbers quickly- talent. Play a musical instrument well- talent. Paint a beautiful piece of art- talent. Enormous computer skills- talent. Can write a best-selling novel- talent.
This girl = has no talents to write on the paper. I gave birth to two incredibly gifted children, both full of academic and athletic ability. Doesn’t that count as my talent? No? Oh, come on! Ok, scratch that. So what do I write down?
God- what is wrong with me, why do I need validated like this?
Why as women do we feel like we HAVE to have something to offer the world?
Wait—
I just said the world. I am trying to impress the world.
Why are we made to feel insecure by the world? Awww- there are two words for it.
Imposter Syndrome
What is imposter syndrome? Well friends, I googled it. Imposture Syndrome is the condition of feeling anxious and not experiencing success internally, despite being high-performing in external, objective ways. This condition often results in people feeling like “a fraud” or “a phony” and doubting their abilities.
Blame it on the magazines in the checkout lines when we were kids with the beautiful models and articles titled You Can Do It All As A Woman, or Social Media infiltrating every spare second that we have as adults now. I am sure every woman throughout the history of the world has felt some sort of insecurity or “phonies” along the way, doubting their abilities. However, what if one particular woman in our very important history doubted herself so much the way that I did?
Luke 1: 42-43 With a loud voice she blurted out, “God has blessed you above all women, and he has blessed the child you carry. Why do I have this honor, that the mother of my Lord should come to me?”
I began to think about Mary, the mother of Jesus. Her little ordinary town, her little ordinary betrothal to Joseph, her ordinary donkey. She was the mother of the most miraculous gift the world would ever know, yet the Bible didn’t list out her talents, never said she could paint a portrait or write a musical. No, she was simply the mother of Jesus Christ. She simply loved and raised Him and gave Him the best life that she knew how. She honored God in the most precious human way possible. What a woman!
I love my people.
I love my Jesus.
I want everyone I know to go to Heaven with me.
Why am I living in this Imposter Syndrome age along with so many other sisters?
Jesus Syndrome
Jesus doesn't care about any of this stuff Sis. He just wants our hearts. He wants us to go to Him when we are hurt. "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. " Matthew 11: 28. He wants us to go to Him when we feel insecure. "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life." Matthew 11:25-34 and Jesus goes on to tell us that he will carry those burdens for us. Girl, no need to worry about what you eat or wear, He has this! I am enough for Him. You are enough for Him. We are ALL enough for Him.
So, as cliche as it may seem to some, I am going to change my mindset to become a more Proverbs 31 woman. To be the wife of Nobel character, to take care of my family, serve the best I can, and just well, DO the best I can and shut up already, because a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Proverbs 31: 10-31. You are not alone Sister, and if you are doing everything you can for your family, then that my friend takes TALENT!
--Love you more, Erica