Therefore what God has joined together, let NO ONE separate. Mark 10:9
Today is my 10th wedding anniversary. A decade. I know this sounds cliché, but it really seems like yesterday that all of this started, this love story of ours, our fairytale as we call it. And I have strep throat. So, of course, my wonderful husband has taken care of me and our daughter, too, as she so graciously gave it to me. In Sickness and in Health right?
If you had known me a few years before I married Jon, you would have known a broken woman, a hot mess in her mid-30s. I was fearful, scared of betrayal, untrusting—so, so untrusting—and a tad bitter. I was angry and making mistakes, too, and did not rely on God like I should have been. I was sickly skinny from worry and exhausted from trying to hold everything together, or at least look like it. I did my fair share of pretending back then.
The most honest prayer I ever had with God came sometime during the end of those years. I knew I was made to be a wife and mother and I was just so mad, so upset at why God would let things happen sometimes they way they did. But then I leaned in, and l just waited. I learned that if God has not redeemed the situation, God ain't done yet! Be faithful. Sometimes there is purpose in the pain, and your story isn't over, it just might get even better!
Fast forward a bit - Imagine pursuing a woman like that, you, a guy that had never been married, all the freedom in the world, she’s got two little kids, divorced, all that comes with it, and you decide to fall in love with all that mess? Then, as a man, you choose to marry this package deal and do this for The Rest of Your Life!
Jon Clark is a man who has always made up his mind about what he wants and decides to go after it and make it work, and somehow, it always does, no matter the challenge,, whether it’s with football, a business, a career, or marriage. That man is a Winner!
Here’s how…
He puts Jesus in charge.
Sidenote: I had vowed never to get married again. Jon had decided he didn't want to get married or have kids. It became apparent that Jesus was definitely in charge now.
The Fairytale
Our fairytale started very Hallmark-like, and I'll save the details for the made-for-television book I plan to write one day. I think it is screen-worthy. I could tell you all the things, like how he makes me laugh and still does every single day, or how he knows what I need sometimes even before I know I need it. Jonathan Michael Clark, a boy from Indiana, never planned on staying in Kentucky for very long.- until he met a girl with a Southern accent. He had the opportunity to coach college football in California, but he stuck it out a year after he met his Southern girl, in order to meet her kids (she was old-fashioned like that), and guess what? He fell in love with those little rascals too. They are pretty awesome.
Keys to making it work
- He puts Jesus first.
- He puts me right next to Him.
- And our children are right after that.
- Then everything else.
Did you hear that? THEN everything else? Others, work, sports, chores, hobbies, dogs (ok, our dogs try their best to get pushed back toward the front of the line because they are needy little freeloaders sometimes)
Simple as that, y’all, simple as that!
There it is, folks, the formula for not just a good marriage but a great one.
To Have and To Hold
Husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the Christ loved the church. Ephesians 5:25
- We pray together. He prays over me, and I pray over him. There is nothing sweeter and nothing that brings a couple closer than talking to the Lord together.
- He holds my hand, he always has. In public, in private, in the car, even when I’m mad. Somehow, when he puts my little hand in his big hand, everything melts away, everything is better. I feel immediately loved and he knows that.
- We go to sleep together every night at the same time. He knows I need that too. He knows I need held and need to feel safe. Even if his shoulder and neck might hurt the next day from snuggling, he does it anyway. He knows I need to feel protected.
- He knows he’s going to drive. He knows I hate it. I like being the shotgun rider, and I like knowing he’s taking care of me.
- He’s never going to miss a game. Or event. Even though his last name is not on their jersey, he’ll be an hour early and tailgating in the parking lot with his “that’s my kid” t-shirt on because he is proud as punch for all of their hard work and accomplishments.
Things We Don’t Do
Be sober- minded, be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring loion, seeking someone to devour. 1 Peter 5-8
- We don’t quit. We are by no means two perfect people, but we don’t quit on each other. We don’t take the easy way out. We are committed forever. Out is never an option. We listen and support. We never talk about each other to other people, either. We are each other’s biggest cheerleaders.
- We don’t hang out alone with the opposite sex. We don’t have work “wives” and work “husbands.” We don’t believe in being “just friends” with the opposite sex. We know that never works out. Never, ever, ever!! That’s a hard NO for both of us.
- Phones are available to each other. He can pick up my phone at any time; I can pick up his at any time. We hide nothing from each other.
Sidenote- he does plan really good surprises for me!
To Love, Honor and Cherish
I have found the one whom my soul loves, I held him, and would not let him go. Song of Solomon 3:4
Jon + Erica + Jesus means that...
My daughter will know what a loving relationship looks like, that she’s not supposed to put up with a guy with wondering eyes, and that she deserves true love only, a love that looks like the love that Jesus has for us. We pray for her future husband now., he looks like the picture of a man of Christ, someone who earns her love and will always cherish her.
My son will know how a husband should care for and love his wife and children. I can see it already in how he respects and loves his sweet girlfriend, my future daughter-in-law. He will always know how to plan anniversary getaways and date nights, let her pick up his phone whenever she wants, and never keep secrets unless they are surprises for her. He will take his family to church, teach them about the love of Jesus, and show them that the way to Heaven is only through Him. He will be the leader in his home that he was created to be.
That, my friends, is the sum of the past 10 years and the rest of our lives. It may seem old-fashioned to some, but look on both sides of the fence, and you'll see which way works!, which way is blessed. I am so loved. Jon Clark is so loved. God has put favor upon my family, and I am so eternally grateful to Him.
Happy Anniversary, my love.
Our fairytale is my favorite,
Erica
Comments