So God made a coach's wife.
He knew he would need a prayer warrior, who would fight for their marriage even when it felt like it was impossible, who believed in commitment and better or worse and forever. He knew this one needed to be head strong and stubborn in the best ways.
So God made a coach's wife.
And when He looked down and saw all that He had created, just like that wife sitting in the stands watching the ball float through the uprights as the final seconds ticked off the clock, He triumphantly shouted, "IT'S GOOD!! IT'S GOOD!!"
And. It. Was.
---Friday Night Wives
Friday Night Lights
Genesis 2:24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
As women, we often hold many titles. We start out as Daughter, then move on to Wife. Then Mom. You may have a few career titles in that too.
Nearly 10 years ago, I married a football coach, therefore I immediately became the coach’s wife. I thought at the time I knew what I was taking on, I had already been a teacher for many years. By that, I mean kids, parents, fundraisers, etc. However, no one prepared me for this- People either LOVE a football coach or HATE a football coach. There really is NO in-between. Football people are weird. (Sorry, football fans, but you are, and I am now in that category as the mother of a quarterback!) And get this – the LOVE that some folks (usually parents) have for a beloved coach can change on a dime! It can turn to HATE overnight and usually starts on social media. And as a wife, you are not protected in that, as a matter of fact, you are subject to attack.
Now, I have thick skin. The Good Lord even knows this. I had been the topic of gossip circles way before marrying a football coach (that’s a story for another day). But just one month after we were married, I had a parent attacking my character all over Facebook. Ummm Huh? What did I do? Of course, it ultimately had nothing to do with me, but one player’s parent was mad at my husband, and the best way to get to him was to attack what he loved most. It wasn’t fun by any means, especially being newlyweds. However, I’d been through a lot worse. My man handled it in the Coach Clark way, and no one even believed the parent’s crazy claim. We dealt with social media attacks like this a few other times, and I would let it roll off my back until I became the mother of one of his players in addition to the coach’s wife. How’s the old saying go? “Don’t mess with Momma Bear!” Once my son’s name was mentioned in one of those posts, I was hurt. I was devastated. I was heartbroken. What was the point? What was the point of continuing to pour day in and day out into other people’s children when our own were set to get hurt?
This job is not just about football. A head coach’s phone will ring at 1 am for a kid who was in a car wreck. They leave for work at 5 am and don’t get home often until dark. That’s not even in season, ya’ll. They need to win games to keep their jobs, but also be the mentor, career counselor, a nurse, a therapist, assist with college recruitment, pick kids up and take them home if they don’t have rides, a big-time fundraiser to support the program for another year, a game scheduler, etc. My husband even hauled his own equipment to games in our truck. That's not even the half of it. All for public school pay.
Now, the time of our high school football career (and I say our because sisters, I shared every bit of it!) was indeed full of valleys and mountains. Highs and lows. Love and Hate. Losses and State Championship games. We had years of kids in and out of our home. Laughter, Taco Tuesdays, Baptisms, and even funerals. It was indeed a ride. A beautiful, God-filled ride.
The Balancing Act
Genesis 2:18 The Lord God said, it is not good for man to be alone, I will make a helper suitable for him.
I know a lot of women who hate this verse for feminine reasons because they think that it is saying man is supposed to rule the woman. Not true. Yes, our husbands are supposed to lead our homes as Godly men. When God made Eve for Adam, He made her from Adam’s side. Adam wasn’t supposed to walk in front of her. Eve wasn’t supposed to walk in front of him. They were supposed to walk side by side. They were supposed to love and take care of each other.
God did make a coach’s wife, but He also made me just wife. Sometimes in all that chaos, especially during those losing seasons, I would forget that He was there. He planted me right there beside Coach Clark for a reason. We were to SERVE together. We were to LOVE those kids together. We were to PRAY together. I was to be there for him during the WINS and LOSSES, but you know what, mostly the losses. And that was okay. It made us better, stronger, and able to handle whatever came our way because we put Jesus Christ into the center of all of it.
Full Circle
Proverbs 31:1 10-12 A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, all the days of her life.
We’ve been out of coaching for a few years, and all these kids are now adults. Jon still stays in touch with so many of his players. I always say one of the best parts about being the coach’s wife is getting the wedding invitations in the mail. All these kids we helped “raise” during their high school years still think of us, and it makes my heart so happy. We have kids who still call, text and come to church with us. They want us to be around their own little families now. The babies, oh how I love all their babies. It brings me so much joy! These young men call and ask Jon for advice, they want to model their own marriages like ours. He has conversations about the Bible, a Christ-centered life, and Salvation. No more Xs and Os for Coach; he gets the good stuff now, the really good stuff! (Well he still talks football sometimes, he can't help it. You can take the coach out of football, but not the football outta coach!)
Saturday morning, I received a text from the wife of a former player (who was also one of our kids). It simply said, “Thank you for being an example.”
That’s God ya’ll. That’s how He said, “Erica, honey, let me show you the point!”
So, friends, if you ever find yourself in a position of service and you are wondering what the point in doing this is, just wait, my loves; God will tell you when He’s good and ready.
Loving you from the Sidelines,
Erica
For the whole Friday Night Wives poem visit: https://fridaynightwives.com/blogs/friday-night-wives-blog/god-made-coach-wife#:~:text=And%20when%20He%20looked%20down,IT'S%20GOOD!!%22